A wedding is a special occasion for family, friends, and acquaintances. It's wonderful to be invited to such a happy occasion and be able to celebrate the beginning of a new life for two people.

Whether you are attending a wedding or not, you want to avoid unintentionally behaving rudely and ruining the celebratory mood simply because you didn't know the proper etiquette.

So, in this article, we'll explain all the essential etiquette for attending a wedding! We'll cover everything from how to reply to invitations to choosing a gift and dress code. Learn the etiquette that will help you convey your congratulations without any misunderstandings, and use it when attending a wedding.

Etiquette to remember when replying to an invitation

First, let's look at the etiquette you should follow when replying to an invitation to a wedding to let people know whether you're attending or not.

It's best to reply as soon as possible

The bride and groom want to know the guest information, such as the number of guests and who will be attending the wedding, as soon as possible. Once you receive a wedding invitation, it is best not to wait too long and reply as soon as possible. Even if you cannot avoid replying late, be sure to reply by the deadline.

Etiquette for writing reply postcards

Always use a black pen when writing a reply postcard. Preferably, use a brush or fountain pen. Cross out the character "行" (line) below the address section (where the recipient's name is written) and rewrite it with "様" (sama) to the left.

If you are attending, circle "attendance" and cross out the polite "go" in "go attendance" and unnecessary information such as "absence."

If you are absent, circle "absent" and, as with attending, use polite language and cross out the word "attendance" with a double line. You can convey your disappointment even more by adding a comment such as "I'm very sorry" next to the circled "absent."

Whether you are attending or not, don't forget to strike out the "Goyo" in "Goyoname" and the "Go" in "Gosyuume" in the section where you write your name and address.

Have you forgotten? A message to the bride and groom

If the reply postcard has a message section, it would be rude to leave it blank. Please use the sample message below as a reference and reply with a message in your own words.

If attending:

"Congratulations on your marriage. I am so happy to have been invited and look forward to the day."

"Congratulations on your marriage. Thank you very much for inviting me. I will be delighted to attend."

In case of absence:

Etiquette regarding wedding gifts, an essential part of a wedding

There are also certain etiquette rules for wedding gifts, which are essential at weddings.

How to choose a gift envelope

A typical gift envelope has five strands of mizuhiki, but wedding gift envelopes have ten strands to represent overlapping joy. It's important to choose a gift envelope made for weddings that matches the recipient and the status of the ceremony you're attending. Gift envelopes often have labels such as "for 10,000 to 30,000 yen" written on the wrapping, so it's a good idea to use that as a reference when making your selection.

Basic price range

The standard amount of gift money for a wedding is 30,000 yen, but the standard amount varies depending on the relationship with the bride and groom. Relatives may give a larger amount, or 10,000 yen as a gift if they are unable to attend.

How to hand over the gift envelope on the day and what to say when handing it over

When you arrive at the ceremony venue, it is common to hand the gift envelope to the receptionist in front of the venue. After greeting the receptionist with "Congratulations today," take out the gift envelope that has been wrapped in a "fukusa" (cloth used to wrap gift money) and hand it over with the inscription facing in so that the recipient can read it.

Wedding etiquette: Important points and basic attire

When attending a wedding, you should pay attention to your attire. We will introduce basic attire and inappropriate fashion.

Basic clothing for men and women

For women, if you are wearing Western clothing, you should choose a formal dress or one-piece dress, but if you are wearing Japanese clothing, the choice will depend on whether you are single or married. If you are unmarried, you should choose a furisode, and if you are married, you should choose a plain kimono, tsukesage, or houmongi.

For men, the basic look is a dark suit such as black or gray with a white shirt, and a formal white or silver tie.

Regardless of gender, the most important thing is to dress formally without standing out more than the bride and groom.

This is a no-no! Fashion that is inappropriate for weddings

For women, being too conscious of not standing out more than the bride and looking too plain is also inappropriate for a celebration. Avoid all-black outfits with no accessories. Also, choosing white clothing, the same color as the wedding dress, is a no-no. Avoid miniskirts, mules, and other outfits that expose a lot of skin, as they give off a casual impression.

For men, white suits and black ties are also not allowed. Avoid non-formal business suits and choose simple leather shoes. Slip-ons and boots are not allowed.

What does "Please come in casual attire" mean?

The invitation may say, "Please wear casual attire." In this case, casual attire means "semi-formal attire," not casual attire.

For women, a long dress is not necessary; choose a knee-length formal dress, and for men, a subdued dark suit and tie are essential.

summary

The etiquette you need to follow at a wedding begins from the moment you receive the invitation.
In addition to dressing appropriately when attending, you should also be aware of basic etiquette, such as how to fill out a reply postcard and how to hand over a gift of money, so that you don't end up regretting it later.
Etiquette also plays a role in properly conveying your feelings of congratulations to the bride and groom. Once you have a better understanding of etiquette, you can approach the wedding with confidence.

This article has been partially re-edited by KARUTA from an article originally published on "Nihongo Biyori."
Any unauthorized reproduction or use of the contents, text, images, illustrations, etc. of this website is strictly prohibited.

"Congratulations on your marriage. Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend due to an extended business trip. I hope that your wedding will be a wonderful one."

If you are unable to attend, be sure to write down the reason for your absence unless you are sick, injured, or attending someone else's wedding.

Whether you attend or not, don't forget to say congratulations.